imagination becomes freedom

Im in lockdown

no freedom for me

im in lockdown

have to use my imagination

what does lockdown not feel like 

now im stuck in it'

i wonder what freedom feels like again

took for granted

my freedom

now its non existent

its not there

its a different type of freedom a freedom where you envision what its like to be free but 

Im in lock down 

and i can't do anything about it 

so im in lockdown

time to just be

time to just sit

contemplate

can't resist 

have to take this new freedom and run with it.

because there is no freedom now.

but im not fully encased my mind is free to make its own decisions 

I guess my freedom is freedom from lockdown in my brain

exporting myself to worlds without visiting them in person 

imagination becomes freedom.

defriending you

Defriend Me
thats what u do
my heart breaks into a million pieces
shattered
my trust
took so long to build
now u walk out the door quickly saying goodbye

Is that all I'm worth
I wonder as the feelings of rejection swarm my mind

I try and say to myself you just couldn't cope
Im in the too hard basket
a diagnosis an illness u would never understand

for 3 years you had been my friend
and now its all over
blocked and restricted from talking to you


I hope your happy
I hope you find your peace
obviously having depression is too much

severe depression is knocking me around
just thought u would understand

but the judgements come quickly and fast
Im blamed for being negative for not learning for not improving
when i have proved I have changed.

Ive been knocked back
but your fearing me suiciding.
your afraid of losing a friend

I cant give u the answers you want
I cant tell you I'm going to be ok
because the truth is i am meddling my way through life and I'm not sure how it will turn out